As an adult, you’re supposed to know things. Adults have gone to school, learned a trade, and experienced the world. But we don’t, and can’t, know all the things.
More than that, the world emphasizes intelligence. We show people how smart we are in day-to-day interactions – Quiz shows, trivia, and bragging to buddies about the Red Sox team batting average in 1959.
I’m always thinking of clever things to say and trying to impress others with my wisdom. But when others tell me a solution they’ve found, it’s difficult for me to listen. Rather, it’s when people are vulnerable about where they’ve fallen, what didn’t work, what they want that my attention is captured.
I listened to Chris Sparks talk yesterday, and two points he made are churning my mind: 1. What comes with identity change, and 2. using a lens of curiosity instead of judgement.
He was a world class poker player, then moved into new fields – startups, coaching, consulting. And being willing to approach these new topics as a beginning is central to how he learns new skills. It’s amazing to be a lifelong learner, and it’s impossible to learn when you already know the answer.
Chris said, “We want to appear smart, important, interesting powerful, in front of others.” Just the people I want to impress. Which is everyone apparently.
Other areas I hear beginner’s mind referenced are yoga, mindfulness, creativity. It’s so easy to lose the curiosity that’s innate as children against the rocks of expectations of being an adult. But if you knew how to do everything perfectly, you’d be the first.
As for me, I’m learning to embrace my imperfection.
