Through strobing lights, blasting music, and tequila fragrance, I learned the motto: you only live once (YOLO). Then, I used it to justify another shot of tequila with beer to chase. YOLO.
Short-term wants led the night and my one life. These low-quality decisions were the soundtrack for nights that blurred past as shoes sticking to dance floors and lost credit cards. Drake and Lil Wayne had a hit.
On a run the other day, as “The Motto” played through my headphones, I pondered if I was missing out by forgoing fun for discipline. It was before dawn, and the waning moon and big dipper were the entertainment. Opposite of people dancing in cages, fog machines blasting, or the thrill of finding the perfect spot to stand. A place with access to the bar and restroom and away from the flow of traffic bumping past. Runner’s high fell flat compared to that pure bliss.
Was I no longer living life to the fullest by giving those things up? The run was good for me, but I wasn’t excited or pleased by it. At least not while my legs demanded more oxygen and my lungs labored under their request. Had I lost the YOLO spirit?
I say I’d found it.
Because you only live once, what is in your heart, not what your impulses desire, is vital. Responsibility to each moment builds a complete, single, finite life.
Choose dreams today
There is one certainty in life, and it’s not taxes. A life lived once creates a scarcity of moments, and how you use them is paramount.
Infinite lives would provide time to do everything we could do. It would resolve many problems, and I’m not going to contemplate that here. One life has more to do than can ever be done, the original buffet with more tantalizing food than can be eaten. It would be amazing to build a cathedral, but there are other things I’m prioritizing. We can go after anything we want, but not everything we want.
Since you only live once, it’s urgent to use the opportunity. A child provided an hour to explore a dreamland plays with the toys and equipment immediately. It doesn’t put it off; that would lose time. So do what is most important.
Focus on what is crucial, and dismiss distractions. People too often forgo dreams because of indecision, diversion, or fear.
Use your moments in life to create your chosen dreams.
How do you only live once
Living in the moment is mistaken for doing whatever we want, and YOLO is a premier example. It’s twisted to serve immediate desires and cravings.
Delaying gratification, not giving in to temptation, creates dreams. Meek Mill put it better, “Follow your dreams, not your addictions.”
The morning run was energy expended for the things I value: health, clarity, and being able to brag about it on my blog. Struggle now for a payoff later. Take the perspective of maximizing an entire life, not maximizing a moment at the expense of a whole life. That is how you make the most of a moment.
For example, you want to buy a home, and there are shoes on sale. You’ve got lots of shoes, but these are extra awesome. Splurging on the shoes feels better now than delaying spending. But if you say, “YOLO” and make it rain dollar bills, you may live life with many shoes and no home.
Actions that drive goals – eating a healthy meal, taking a risk on a project, or putting effort into a relationship – are when we should shout YOLO, as in we plunge. An excuse to give in to a destructive impulse, it isn’t.
When I first heard YOLO, I took it to mean I could do whatever I wanted. But when we indulge, costs come later. Choices made now create future outcomes. Ask the two little pigs who made their houses of straw and wood. If they’d wanted their home to stand huffing and puffing, they’d have had to build it brick by brick like little pig three.
YOLO is a motto to maximize life, not a cause for self-indulgence. Accept the challenge. Living in the moment isn’t doing whatever you feel like; it’s doing the small piece of the big dream possible now.
You only live once, so start
We only live once, so let’s make the best of it. That may mean pushing through a run or a night out with friends and family.
Our moments are scarce, and we should maximize them. The ways to build a life are infinite. You only live once, so create the one in your heart.
It’s simple to mistake self-compassion for self-hate and self-hate for self-compassion. Going to bed on time instead of bingeing another show is discipline, not denial.
Be the person you want, don’t do whatever you want, every day. What is required is too often deferred for fleeting pleasure, and the cost is the postponement of life and dreams.
I first heard “The Motto” through thumping DJ speakers. And that memory rolled through my headphones, breaking the consistent cadence of a run. With it, my understanding of the message was as different as the mediums through which it played.
To change yourself with it, you may have to take a risk. YOLO.
