Big Problems

There are big problems. And new and bigger problems arise as fast as we can solve them. There are wars, genocides, and famines. And there’s injustice, homelessness, and children separated from families.

But how do we deal with the stream of things which need help? Many donate or rush to social media to support their side of a cause.

And it’s exhausting. Let me work on equality across gender and origin after breakfast, bring peace to Europe for lunch, restore religious freedom to Tibet mid-afternoon, house those in need at dinner, and navigate abortion rights before calling it a day. I hope there are lots of people working on these things, but any one of those requires a lifetime of work.

So how do we help?

For example, abortion rights are topical after the Supreme Court removed US federal protections for abortions. The stakeholders mostly are women and children – two groups disenfranchised too often across history and today.

So what should we do?

First, I determine if it’s something I’m in a position to do something about. And for most things, that’s no. I’m not the person to resolve that big problem. I don’t know how to, and others are better positioned to get to what should be.

For abortion, I’m a single dude without kids. Let me channel my man-courage and tell you why or why not you should have the right to an abortion. No, I need to be in listen and learn mode from those who do know.

Be informed. Be informed. We’re told all the time. But how could we learn everything we need to know about all the different problems.

At the same time, these problems often become taboo. What’s an easier conversation at a family gathering – what abortion rights should be or how the beloved sports team is doing? But it’s those conversations that are important. Getting others’ input, particularly those who are stakeholders in the problem, can help them feel connected and heard.

For example, I asked Mom about her experience as a woman in the workforce. She worked in a female-dominated field and was fortunate never to have any issues. Fantastic, amazing, and I’m so glad for her. But I’d also talked to a woman who had a male boss use power and influence to put her in a vulnerable position. Not so fantastic or amazing.

I’m not in a position right now to charge for good treatment in the workplace. But maybe someday I will be. Still, that’s little consolation to those who face mistreatment every day.

We can’t solve every problem we come across because we’re constrained by our focus, skills, and priorities. Even those with all three often see progress in increments because the problems are so big.

Albert Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions”. When we all are quick to say what should be done, it’s valuable to step back and define the problem.

I aim to bring people together. And I do that by telling stories. I’m hopeful that a lot of the problems we have, war for example, are downstream of people being disunited. But I have a long way to go from a small blog to impact the problem.

In the meantime, I went to dinner with friends after an evening around the city. The restaurant we chose had a flag promoting a group they belonged to which had been ostracized. And they smiled and felt welcomed.

Work on big problems, yes. But often the biggest impact we can have is a conversation about it. Listen to people and understand how it impacts them. You never know when you’ll have an opportunity to do something about it, even if it’s to make someone struggling with it feel welcome.